Reminder to myself!

Monday, August 6th, 2007
Something I responded to in a post this morning (I thought I keep this as an reminder for myself):
The one thing I learned for myself is, that no matter how "disconnected " I am I HAVE to journal. No ifs or buts.
This is the one thing that keeps me hanging on, because I can still see every day what and how I am doing. Sometimes I don't ad everything until the evening (keep a scribble note throughtout the day) and for example like yesterday, I was very very surprised to see how little I actually had. The same on some of the other days.
But I was walking around all day thinking I am blowing it left and right. So, for me seeing it every day reconfirms many times that it isn't as bad, but it has more to do with what's going on in my head. (and I believe if I think lots of negatives I will also see negative results, it all goes hand in hand. We might be disconnected sometimes, but we are never separated, we just experience different outcomes)
Sure what's in my head has an effect on what I eat, but knowing that in reality it isn't all so bad really helps me pushing through the bad phases.
I tried the very first time journaling in March of 2005 for as long as I stuck with trying to lose weight.

This one is about keeping a Food Journal

Started again beginning of this year, had a few weeks intermission, but been at it ever since. Those few weeks I didn't journal, but was still "trying & hanging in" made me realize, journaling is part of what holds it all together for me. I am not sure if I will have to do this forever, but I know I have to do this to get to my goal. It's almost more important than eating right and exercising. Seems to be the one link that holds the other two together.
For me to see on "paper" what it is I do each day, makes me want to improve and/or continue on. Not seeing it seems to be followed by indifference somehow, almost like "what you don't know can't hurt ya" or "ignorance is bliss". Well, I beg to differ on that one!!
here is something that struck a nerve when I saw this on TV a while back when someone said something similar to what I keep telling myself. Which kinda sums the above up for me:
If you don't want to face the truth and see what you have been doing, you are obviously not being truthful to yourself, and therefore you are not ready to make it work! (now that's the nice me talking to the sensitive me:)

Or to be more blunt: (which is so in "your face" but works better for me)
You can not succeed for as long as you lie to yourself. For as long as you choose to lie you are also choosing not to make a change.