Resolutions ......

(I started this post yesterday)

…. to have or not to have them? How many of us actually follow through with them? I have never been one to set myself goals at the beginning of the year. I usually like getting a head start, usually start making the changes when I decide it’s time to do so. Why wait until the 1st of the new year to get the benefits from a positive change?

This is how it used to be. Lately I have found myself waiting for the “right day” to start over fresh. So far it hasn’t come, so far I am still stalling on taking the first steps towards getting back to my happy self. The happy self I used to be before we embarked on the journey to have a family (first In Vitro fertilization, now through adoption). I am not saying that the failure to do so is the only reason for my feeling so down, it surely contributes a big part to it though. I am now finding myself in the position where I don’t know for sure anymore how it started. Am I upset because I have gained so much weight or am I fat because I am upset about stuff and therefore don’t care about myself anymore and let myself go. I think it’s the last, but it could be the first, everything seems so connected and it’s hard to figure out where it all initially started. One thing is for sure though. I can not continue on the way I have in the past 1 ½ years

So, what changes am I going to make? I will try to do my best and change the following “misbehavior”. I AM going to increase my daily activity. It will be baby steps at first, like walking down the hill to get the mail instead of getting into the car to do so. I think this will be the one and only promise I make to myself. No sense in coming up with a long list of good intentions, just so I end up not keeping any of them.

Keeping this one promise to myself will be my one and only goal.